I Never Thought It Would End Like This...

4:40PM - The Friday Five

1. What is your happiest memory?

We used to go to Lavalette every summer when I was a kid. I think those were great times. Also, the day after I broke up with Vinny my mom made me go to the beach so I wouldn't mope in the house. But I was mopey at the beach so I went for a walk along the shore and collected seashells. I found a bunch of impossibly tiny, perfectly in tact waved whelk shells (picture at the bottom). Lots of them. And I remember feeling, at that moment, that these little shells were good omens telling me that if something so small and delicate could make it to shore in spite of the violence of the ocean, I would survive emotionally and go on to do big things in all aspects of my life. And after that day, everything seemed different. I felt different. Something inside of me changed that day and I haven't looked back since. I don't know if this counts as a happy memory but the world seemed vast and open - in a hopeful, triumphant way.


2. What is the most important life lesson you've learned?

That life is not that serious. And that if you alter your perception positively, good things and happiness will follow.


3. What is the most difficult decision you've had to make?

I think breaking up with Vinny. It wasn't difficult to come to that conclusion but it was difficult to go through with it.


4. What is the best thing about your life?

Everything. I love my life. But if I had to pick something, I'd say the best thing about it is that I am for the first time aware of how great I have it and I am finally confident to do something with it.


5. What is the biggest challenging you're facing right now?

Trying not to get ahead of myself and to not worry about the future so much.

(In a perfect world...)

5:31PM - If I ever have a baby...

I want this to be the cake:




Haha!

(2 | In a perfect world...)

1:49PM - I was riding the wave...

Looks like the wave is crashing into the shore at a violent speed that I am not comfortable with.

But there is solace in this.  When I first started talking to Brian, he mentioned in passing that he would teach me how to surf.  My response was, "Oh no no no, I am far too floppy for surfing."  He informed me that being floppy was the best thing to be in terms of surfing.  So maybe I'm good for this.  Good for riding these waves, even the rough ones that seem like tsunami's but end up petering out as they get closer to the shore.

Ha.  I like how I try to find happiness in the weakest, most far fetched source.  What does surfing have to do with it anyway.  Sigh.

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day
You deem me due to clean my view and be at peace and lay
I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way, and say,
I've been getting along for long before you came into the play

Current mood: gloomy

(In a perfect world...)

12:01PM - Evil Home Stereo. What good songs do you know?

I originally posted this as a note on Facebook.  I'm sort of uncertain about how Facebook works so I'm posting it here too in case I take it down from FB....

Current mood: blank

(In a perfect world...)

1:49PM - Catch 22 reference!

So today I am wearing this fake leather jacket thing and a bomber hat.  Because it is way cold.  So this morning in Starbucks, one of the barista/counter people said to me, "You look like a bombadier from WWII."  To which I responded: "Yossarian lives!"  Highlight of my life.  Maybe not life but probably my day.  Unfortunately, they didn't catch the reference.

I want to make a few literary geek t-shirts.  One for each book that I love.  Ok, so then I will have a million shirts but still.  I really really want to make a Yossarian Lives! t-shirt.  And a Big Brother t-shirt.  And maybe one that says God Bless You Dr. Kervorkian.  Just for Kurt Vonnegut.  I just want to see if anyone gets it.  It amazes me how many New Yorkers are not well read.  Aren't we supposed to be the host of the intellectual elite?  That's what right wing radio hosts say and they only speak the truth! (sidenote: Why is it that whenever I use the phrase "I/they/he/she speak(s) the truth" I always hear it in my head to the tune of that song in Moulin Rouge?)

Haha, Matt just walked down here and said, "I have a task that should be done by someone with serious OCD."  He looked back and forth between Amar and I, smirked and said, "Kristin, I'm looking at you for this one."

Hahahaha I am a nerd with OCD.

Current mood: cold

(In a perfect world...)

12:35PM - Don't ask about Utah

My life is effing absurd.  And hilarious.  And sometimes not so much.

Yesterday morning I was running late for work.  I get off the subway and I run run run up the stairs only to be stopped by a gaggle of cops.  There were at least 15 NYC cops just clogging the upper platform.  They surrounded me like vultures.  Now, you would think that maybe it was because I fit the description of a terrorist or something, right?  Oh, no.

No, they thought I was a high school kid cutting school.  And they wanted to escourt me back to school.  If I wasn't in such a rush I probably would have been nicer but as I was late for work, I was indignant.  My response pretty much was, "School?  School?  Really?  Please, I'm late for work!" 

Geez, do I look that young?  I guess I dress sort of youthfully still but I work in a small office in a laid back industry - I'm allowed to wear jeans and t-shirts all the time.  In fact, I'm probably still one of the better dressers in the office.  But I do carry around a backpack as opposed to a purse which probably makes me look like a school girl.

Though it kinda bugs me that my tax dollars are being used to pay cops to hang out on subway platforms so they can bust high school kids and harass me. 

Sigh, hilarity.

This morning, I came to the realization that people are really angry for no reason.  On the bus, the woman sitting behind me kept kicking and pushing my seat.  So I shifted in my seat everytime she did it.  She grabbed my shoulder and said, "Well it wouldn't happen if you just moved your seat up.  Quit throwing a hissy fit."  So I moved my seat and told her to relax, it wasn't such a big deal.  Then she started to yell.  "You're throwing a hissy fit!  You keep slamming your body against the chair!  You relax!"  (for the record, there is nothing funnier than a screaming  person telling you to calm down).  So I said, "Well you could have just asked - "  "You could have asked!" she yelled/interrupted (what a great come back?).  I paused and calmly said, "You could have just asked nicely instead of kicking the chair.  I would have moved it."  Then I smirked and she stared at me.  She looked like an idiot and I'm guessing she realized that?  I have never won an argument so easily.  So I turned around and went to sleep.

It just made me realize how angry the human race is.  I mean, she went from zero to bitch in 60 seconds.  At 8am on a commuter bus.  Meanwhile, it could have been solved easily by her just asking.  What's the point in all that anger?  I think there's a lot of rage that nobody talks about.  Maybe people need to release it but they don't know how to so they take it out on strangers without consequence.  It's kinda effed up if you think about it.  I see people snap at each other in the morning on the bus all the time.  And it always amazes me.  Why is it that sometimes we can't even do something simple like get to work without a fight?    Anyway, the situation bothered me for about 15 minutes but I guess I'm over it because I am in a pretty good mood today.  Also, way proud that I made her look like an idiot without saying much.  Hooray for being an English Major!

In other news, I got my nose jewelry changed so now I have a lovely ring in my nostril as opposed to the lovely stud I had.  I'm not used to it yet but I kind of love it!

(2 | In a perfect world...)

1:37PM - EFF LIVEJOURNAL

Once again my internet screwed up while I was writing a hefty entry and livejournal is too dumb to figure out how to save the draft and not fudge everything.

I don't have the energy to rewrite everything so here's the jist:

The Afterlife: I've been thinking and I'm replacing Jesus on my list of five to hang out with in the afterlife.  Sorry Jesus, I just really don't think I can survive eternity without Rod Serling.  Besides, according Brian's logic, Jesus will already be there and he will be making rounds to everyone.  Plus, he'll want to hang with my posse no matter what.

Michelle Obama is interesting and so is her family history.

Levi Johnston is surprisingly likeable.  And apparently a gay icon in spite of being a meathead from Alaska.  He's totally embraced his gay fans too which I think is neat.  Johnston has that redneck sincerity and charm that I find appealing.

Random observation today: Hm, I am so different from who I used to be.  It's awesome.  I'm awesome.  You're awesome.  Life is awesome.

Current mood: awesome

(In a perfect world...)

5:19AM - The fifth one

My list of people who I'd want to hang out with in the afterlife is complete.  In no particular order:

1) Andy Warhol
2) Kurt Vonnegut
3) Jesus
4) Jim Henson
5) Dr. Seuss


Can't believe it took me so long to come up with Dr. Seuss.  I thought about making some eye candy my fifth but lust is fleeting.

Current mood: geeky

Current music: ring ring ring

(In a perfect world...)

1:05PM - Boston

Currently, I am sitting in the South Station bus terminal in Boston awaiting my bus. I came here for the weekend to get away and relax. I planned to read and write. Well I didn't write but I did get a lot of exercise and I did a lot of things. I did get some reading done. More than ever, I amazed myself for the entire trip.

Details and photos to come after my arduous trek back to the city that never sleeps.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

(In a perfect world...)

1:13PM - Hm.

 Is this news?

It reads like this: the GOP is having a party!  Sarah Palin was invited but now she's not.  But she might come with someone else!  Who knows what will happen with that crazy lady from Alaska!

I feel like it's the plot of a high school dance movie.

In other news, I met a cool person this weekend who was covered in tattoos and he looked like Jesus.  We talked about pee for 30 minutes.  Awesome.  Also, I saw UP.  Very cute.

Current mood: sleepysillyRAWR

(In a perfect world...)

9:29PM - Chris Brown ain't a monster

Ok. But you still hit women.

I guess everything is ok now since Chris Brown has reassured us that he's not a monster and that he has a new single coming out. Whew! That puts an end to my sleepless nights.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Current mood: irate

(In a perfect world...)

11:55PM - Quoted for a second time

Ok, so I did a google search for Kristin Manganello BME (in reference to the site BMEzine.com).  As you may or may not remember, I was quoted for an article a couple of years ago and I wanted to take a look at said article because I couldn't remember the name of it.  When I did the search, I noticed that my name was also tied with a DIFFERENT BME article.  I clicked on the link only to see that I was quoted for a second time for a different article on the same site.  The article was originally written as a paper for a sociology type class.  The idea of someone quoting me for academic purposes is astonishing - haha, if only they knew what a freaking dork and loser I am!

Anyway, the article is called Society's Views of Body Modification.  I am a grand expert of body modification and society.  Hooray.

For the record, I feel like the coolest person in the world because two people think I'm quotable and that I know stuff....  Wow, that sentence makes me stupid though.

Ashely says I am a great English major!

Current mood: silly

Current music: The sound of Ashley breathing

(In a perfect world...)

6:31PM - Villains

Today's program is brought to you by:

1) The Letter B
2) Thoughtcrime
3) Me!

I don't normally give much thought to celebrity news but I have been keeping up with the Chris Brown/Rihanna fiasco.  My mom likes Rihanna, and I sort of do too.  I hate to admit it, but she's got some pretty catchy tunes.  Though I probably wouldn't buy an album.

Anyway, regardless of whether or not I like Rihanna's music, my mother is the one who first told me about the whole thing.  I don't like hearing about domestic violence, as I'm sure most people don't.  All the same, my mom told me that she wasn't sure exactly what happened or even if it was just a rumor.  So I went to work.

I work near a high school.  So whenever I go outside, I'm surrounded by tweens wandering the streets and talking very loudly.  You'd think nobody goes to school anymore the way these kids are always out.  Anyway, the same day my mom told me about Rihanna, I heard a group of teenage girls at Starbucks talking about it.  They were big fans of Chris Brown.  They kept saying, "Oh he COULDN'T have done it, he's too sweet" (apparently, this Chris Brown character has a nice-guy sort of image).  One said, "I heard Rihanna's really controlling.  If he did it, she probably had it coming."  All of her friends agreed.

I was horrified.  I know that it has nothing to do with me personally, but I honestly felt like I hadn't done my part as a feminist.  I know that's a silly feeling, but I still felt it.  I mean, how have we have gone so wrong that young girls honestly think that domestic violence is ok or deserved?  Meh, it bothers me.

Anyway, so because of that, I've sort of kept up with the whole thing.  Today, an affadavit was released about Brown's attack on Rihanna.  It detailed everything - he punched her in the face over and over again, he shoved her face several times into the car window, he choked her, he bit her in several places...all because she was giving him shit about getting text messages from another girl.  The police said that the car had a ridiculous amount of blood.

What.  The.  Eff.

That is so messed up.  He's such a piece of crap.  I'm absolutely disgusted by this whole thing.  And I'm disgusted by how many girls and young women actually defend him.  I looked at the comments on one of the articles - I was horrified to see how many people are on his side (mostly girls, though I'm unsure of their ages).  I'm sorry, but he seriously beat the crap out of her.  He didn't just shove her around a little or get a little too rough when he was angry (both of which are also, to me, inexcusable) - he pounded her face plus the choking and biting.  He was out of control and he could have killed her.  I know that sounds dramatic, but seriously.

Celebrities and the celebrity image are useful tools in someways.  Because people have definite opinions about these larger-than-life famous people, you can learn a lot about a person's moral spectrum.  Tabloids, in their own way, reveal a lot about our society.  Even if they're full of BS, they reflect the general feelings and thoughts of the average American.  America is obsessed with celebrities, so their ideas and emotions sometimes manifest through their opinions concerning their favorite or least favorite pop star.  Sort of how I often express my ideas and emotions by using an example from a book or X-Files.

So, it's disturbing to me that so many people support Chris Brown.  It makes me wonder if people truly mean what they say when they comment on how awful domestic violence is.  Do people take domestic violence seriously anymore?  Or has it become so commonplace that when Chris Brown delivers a terrible, it's easy to write it off?  People were horrified with Axel Rose and Mike Tyson.  What's changed?

Also, I don't care how controlling Rihanna is.  I don't care that she checks his text messages.  He had every right to be angry.  But he had no right to hit her.  And choke her.  And bite her.  That's so disgusting.

The other monster of the week is Rush Limbaugh.  To me, Limbaugh is a big nobody.  Not in the sense that he's not popular or famous, which I know he still has a lot of popularity, but in the end he's just a fat guy yelling into a microphone.  So, to me, he's a big nobody.

I don't like him.  I don't agree with him on anything, I find that he gets his information from blogs, and I find his personality to be abrasive.  So, guess what, I don't listen to him.  Why would I?  When he said that he hoped Obama would fail, I thought to myself, "Well, that's stupid."  Now, I voted for Obama so I obviously want him to succeed.  But when Bush was elected and then re-elected - I didn't hope he would fail.  I hoped against all odds that he would do great things for this country.  Not for himself, not for his party, but for the sake of the country.  I could care less about politicians, but I do care about the state of the country.  Furthermore, I knew Bush would fail us - what left leaner didn't?  Thinking/knowing he would fail is a lot different than hoping for it.

Limbaugh tried to justify his dumb statement by saying that he hopes Obama fails because he doesn't agree with the President's ideology.  Well, duh.  We all knew that already, Rush.

I think the statement was utterly petty and childish.  I mean, you want for Obama to fail (and thus the country to fail) because of a difference of opinion?  That's the goofiest thing I've ever heard!  It's also sort of counterproductive to that whole, ya know, unity-strength-bipartisanship thing we should be aiming for.  I'm worried about Obama's plan too.  What if it doesn't work (which is a possibility)?  But I hope, for the sake of everyone, that it does.  Limbaugh, a wealthy white male, will most likely never have to feel the strain that most average Americans are feeling these days.  I feel like it was a callous thing to say because of that.  It's like he has no regard for how other people in this country are struggling.

I also don't like how he's constantly whining about how people are trying to limit his freedom of speech - and then he turns around and attacks anyone who disagrees with him.  Like you're not allowed to disagree with Limbaugh but he'll be damned if he isn't given the freedom to disagree.  He makes Mark Levin look sane, Sean Hannity sound reasonable, and Bill O'Reilley seem like a cute little bunny.  Haha, ok maybe I'm taking it too far, but you get my point.

Anyway, that's my personal take on the situation.  But also, I don't understand why people are in such an uproar about the comment.  As I stated before, Limbaugh is unlikeable and the comment was stupid, but he is entitled to say it.  He's just a radio host - why do people care?

The media is absolutely out of control (and I guess I'm no better since I'm posting this, though it is my personal journal).  So I guess the media is also a big supervillain for the day.  This story should have been over before it began.  But of course, it prints well.  People love to read or hear about drama.  It's not news unless it's also entertaining.  The media (and the Democrats) are milking this for all its worth.  They're going to squeeze every dollar out of it until America grows bored with it.  I, for one, cannot wait for that day.  If I have to open up my browser and see one more headline about Limbaugh on my Google news gadget, I'm going to throw my computer into an active volcano.

Now, maybe I've been reading too many comic books lately, but today I read an article with a quote in it from Limbaugh where he sounded, to me, like a cliche comic book villain: '"If you can wipe me out in a debate ... do you realize you will own the United States of America?" Limbaugh said on-air. "You will have no opposition."'

Only a comic book villain would think that, amidst financial and international crisis plus about 82197321 other shitty things that need to be fixed, having a debate (or, in a comic book, a duel to the death!) would be a GREAT idea.  When I read this comment, I seriously picture him wearing a dark blue jump suit, his mask half torn off, as the hero, panting and sweating, holds him up against a wall - his head spinning with choices and ethics: should he kill the villain and violate what he stands for or should he take him to the authorities, use the system?  He could do it, nobody would know.  Nobody would question him if he said it was an accident.  The villain, sensing this, would try to manipulate the situation using the hero's mental or emotional vulnerabilities (sometimes, much stronger than Kryptonite).  In a tired but still diabolical voice, the villain would whisper, "You could kill me.  Without me to hinder you, you could rule the country, the world.  Give in to those impulses."  It has a sort of Joker vs. Batman feel to it.

I don't actually think Limbaugh is a villain - comic book or otherwise.  As I said earlier before, to me, he's just a fat obnoxious man yelling into a microphone.  But the quote, which I'm sure is out of context since that's what the media does best, made me giggle inside.  Plus, I liked the image it put in my head.

Might be cross posting this Limbaugh part later to the robojournal.

That's my spiel for the evening.  Take care.  And god speed, you weary hobo.

Current mood: blank

Current music: Cum on Feel the Noize! - Quiet Riot

(1 | In a perfect world...)

11:23PM - The Partly Cloudy Patriot and Drown

Ok, so I've finished two books this week.  The Partly Cloudy Patriot by Sarah Vowell and Drown by Junot Diaz.  Very good stuff.  Both of them.

So Drown wasn't as good as The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao but it was pretty amazing nonetheless.  Diaz has a gift of bringing Dominican culture to the forefront and portraying it honestly enough that even the most heathen American could understand something about it.  His work is just rich with folklore motifs, superstitions, history, and the spiritual tie that the natives have to "the island."  Inspite of the longstanding mutual hatred between Dominicans and Puerto Ricans, I could easily relate to many of the characters and situations (well maybe not so much the situations - I never lived in Patterson or Washington Heights).  In Diaz's work, I recognize the inner workings of my Puerto Rican family.  The anecdotes, the senses of humor, the attitude toward life - all are very similar.  So, yeah, I really liked it.  It was a little slow at the beginning, but by the end I was pining for more - which shows what an excellent book it is.  I really love Diaz's use of language.  It's a combination of Spanglish, profanity, slang, and poetry.  There's something deeply moving and exciting about it.

The Partly Cloudy Patriot was very good too.  I've never read anything by Vowell (and I probably won't ever again - she's great but her other books don't really grab me).  Anyway, reading it, I felt like Vowell and I shared a few common characteristics.  She's someone I'd want to hang out with because she would appreciate my nerdiness and we could probably go on about politics.

Her politics are interesting.  She's a liberal, and proud of it.  But this does not keep her from respecting conservatives.  She even wrote a letter to a Conservative politician about how he said something that she really liked.  I think that's nice.  It's all too often that people get bent out of shape and refuse to agree with another person based on flimsy labels such as "liberal" and "conservative."  But not Sarah Vowell.

A few months ago, I read an atrociously boring book called The Age of American Unreason by Susan Jacoby - who's actually a big nobody but thinks that her opinion is divine inspiration.  I bring this book up because The Partly Cloudy Patriot dealt with the same themes as Jacoby's book.  History, intellectualism, the American people, etc.  The Partly Cloudy Patriot is what The Age of American Unreason should have been.  It's honest, it's modern, it's intellectual without seeming pretentious or threatening, and there's no racism.  The Age of American Unreason talked a lot about rap music and how it made everyone stupid.  Jacoby stated that rap was completely devoid of any intellectual merit (which, like with all genres of music, is sometimes very intelligent and other times not so much) but gave no real proof of it other than the fact that she doesn't like "urban things" (she also went on to say that Urban Studies were a waste of time, just like Gender Studies).  To me, when a middle aged white woman says, "Oh I don't like urban things," what she really means is that she doesn't like black people.  Just my opinion.

So anyway, there was none of that in Patriot.  In fact, Sarah Vowell seems to be so obsessed with race issues that sometimes she can't enjoy simple things that bring joy to everyone because she's bombarded by thoughts of history and slavery.  She also goes on to say that Snoop Dogg has one of the classic voices of America.  And I agree, to a certain extent.

Anyway, Patriots is what Unreason should have been. 

Sarah Vowell is also super into Al Gore.  So much so that, reading her thoughts, it almost made me want to be super into Al Gore too.  But I probably never will be (though I did like his appearance in Futurama).  Anyway, Vowell also keeps it real.  She doesn't pretend to like black and white movies with subtitles just because it's trendy - she's happy to go to the movies to see Mel Gibsons "The Patriot."  That's my kind of person.  Smart and completely unwilling to pretend to be someone she's not.  She eats food that's bad for her, she obsesses over the things that are written in our Constitution and in the Declaration of Independence, she's an atheist but she doesn't flaunt it angrily, and she allows herself to be moved by people who she doesn't agree with.  I like all of that.

Sarah Vowell makes me wish I was nerdier.  She has this endless supply of history knowledge - it makes me green with envy.  But she's also older than I so I don't really feel so bad.

Anyway, I'm exhausted and I don't want to talk anymore about books.

Quick question, does anyone consider Watchmen to be a book (as opposed to just being a comic)?  The reason I ask is because I have a goal of reading at least 5 books for Feb.  If I count Watchmen, I've already finished 4.  If I don't, then I have another 2 books to go.  I know this probably seems silly to you but it's important to me.  So please, I need input!

Ok.  Take care.  And godspeed, you weary hobo. 

Current mood: accomplished

(In a perfect world...)

12:31AM - Friday the 13th

I saw the remake of Friday the 13th on Valentines Day.  It was awful.  I haven't seen a movie that crappy in a while.  At the end, I burst out laughing hysterically.

I definitely expected it to be better.  Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween, I thought, was really good as far as remakes go.  I mean, it really delved into Michael Meyers' past, created a very creepy tension and atmosphere, and didn't overuse every horror movie cliche over and over and over again.

Friday the 13th was a whole other beast.  There was pretty much no plot.  Or, rather, the plot went something like this:  Weed.  Boobies.  Death.  Rinse.  Wash.  Repeat.  No joke.  That was all this movie was about.

There was no back story.  There was a handful of potentially creepy elements that were succinctly wasted for the entire movie, such as creepy backward people living in the woods.  There were some pretty sweet, classic shots but who the hell cares when the movie is on a whole awful.  Some of the deaths were pretty decent but again, who cares.

I've never seen so much useless nudity in a movie.  Out of a cast of 5 young women, I saw 3 of them naked.  And for basically no reason.  I'm not a prude but when boobies are the only thing that holds the movie together, sorry, you've lost me there.

Anyway, the characters were absolutely forgettable at best, and terribly obnoxious at worst.  So, why should I care if Jason kills them.

It wasn't even a remake.  It was just a crappy new Jason movie.  Freddie vs. Jason was 16 times better.  And according to Vin, Jason X was at least 5 times better.  Ridiculous.

I feel worse for Vin because he's a horror geek and he was excited for this.  Not even the boobies made it watchable for him.  Ouch.

Current mood: calm

Current music: Sufjan Stevens

(In a perfect world...)

6:07PM - I just want to Dance Dance Dance!

Saturday night was a perfect date.  The boy and I ate gyros and then went to the bookstore after.  And I had a gift certificate left over from Christmas.  So I got to do some shopping!  I purchased five books - Dance Dance Dance and Kafka on the Shore - both by Haruki Murakami, Drown by Junot Diaz (who used to live in Demarest!  I read his novel The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao and was absolutely blown away; plus about a third of it actually took place in Demarest, so I felt nostalgic reading it), The Partly Cloudy Patriot by Sarah Vowell (as opposed to Sarah Consonant :P), and Planet News a small book of Ginsberg poetry.  Good stuff.

Honestly, could I have had more minorities in one bag?  Japanese and Dominican men, a woman and a gay man.  I was considering purchasing a Toni Morrison novel just to have it all.

ANYWAY, on Monday morning, I started Dance Dance Dance.  This evening, I finished it while I was commuting home on the bus.  Oh my god, it was amazing.  I could have easily killed it in two days if it hadn't been for my boss slapping me with an excerpt of a novel but a few minutes before I left yesterday.  But back to Dance Dance Dance.  Oh.  My.  God.  About 70 pages in, I already knew that it was going to be one of my favorite books ever.  I was not wrong.  Easily in my top 5.  It was so good.  About halfway through, I felt heartbroken because I knew it would end soon.

I can barely describe how it made me feel.  I described the feeling to Ben as being like sexual excitement - while I was reading it, I felt so intense and flushed all over - almost like I was intoxicated but without loss of logical thought.  And then when I wasn't reading it, all I did was think about it.  It was fueling me while my body acted like a machine - accomplishing the daily tasks of the day.  But that doesn't quite capture it.  Dance Dance Dance felt like an old lover in your bed.  Full of bittersweet sentiment, humor, and softness.  This might sound weird but I think I actually fell in love with this book in the same way that one would fall in love with a person.

This book was like a great American novel - except it was Japanese.  Written by a Japanese man with Japanese characters and taking place mostly in Tokyo and Sapporo.  Since the bulk of it takes place in urban areas of Japan, the narrative explores landscapes littered with McDonalds' and Dunkin' Donuts', which gives the novel one of it's more peculiar qualities.  You're seeing the most Westernized portions of Japan - a testament to vast globalization.  So in spite of the fact that it's Japanese, it's easy to lose track of that fact and picture America and Americans in place of everything.  Also, it has a Hemingway feel to it.  It reminded me a lot of The Sun Also Rises since there was so much about traveling, drinking, physical love, and alienation.  It even had some Vonnegut-esque moments (random recipes sprinkled in a few places - sort of like Deadeye Dick but not quite).  I also felt like there was a lot of Nabokov in it, even though he wasn't American.  But Lolita took place in America and Dance Dance Dance definitely borrowed heavily from it.  No sex with minors but the main character is a 34 year old male and at some point he befriends a 13 year old girl with clairvoyance.  There's some tension between them and at times it seems vaguely sexual.  But it proves to be a rather innocent relationship based on their mutual understanding of one another.  They're both strange outcasts in their own ways so they relate in spite of the many abstract boundaries between them.

I also noticed some similarities with The Real Life of Sebastian Knight also by Nabokov.  There was a lot of surrealism throughout Dance Dance Dance as well as the juxtaposition of individuals.  Everyone overlapped and slipped through one another in some way.

I also felt there was some homo-eroticism, which I found to be reminiscent of some early to mid 20th century male-centered literature.  Nothing overt, just subtle overtones.

And the ending.  It was incredibly satisfying.  I was getting nervous that it was going to have a flat ending.  That's been happening to me a lot lately - I'll read a book that's crazy good but it will have a pretty piss poor ending.  Sometimes, writers just don't know how to conclude their amazing stories.  But not Murakami.  A great ending to a great book.

In a weird way, I felt like the books I've read most recently sort of preened me for Dance Dance Dance.  Last month, I read 7 books (which is a personal best for me an January - a month that tends to be slow for me reading-wise).  Among the 7 titles, I read The Love We Share Without Knowing by Christopher Barzak.  Barzak wrote this novel upon returning from Japan, I believe.  He lived there for some time just teaching English.  The narrative switches from several characters, both American and Japanese.  That book was really good too, especially since he really picked up on traditional Japanese aesthetic.  And it's loaded with lots of Japanese mysticism.  So this prepped me for Murakami just because the book mostly consisted of stories about love and loss in modern Japan. 

I also read Dangerous Laughter by Steven Millhauser, which was a collection of short stories.  They were stories of obsession, darkness, longing, alienation, memory, and metaphysical happenings.  Lots of great stories.  I also tried to read his other collection of shorts The Barnum Museum but I only finished 3 stories before realizing that I needed a break from his style.  New rule: do not read two books by the same author consecutively.  Space 'em out.  Ok, I'm digressing as usual.  Anyway, The Barnum Museum had an amazing story in it called "A Game of Clue."  It was about the most awkward game of Clue ever played by anyone ever.  There is so much unspoken tension between the 4 players - it actually is uncomfortable to read at times.  Meanwhile, as the game goes on, in another reality that coincides with our reality, the characters of the game come alive in various ways.  Colonel Mustard is an old perv, Miss Scarlet is an apathetic and unintentional seductress, and so on.  So while the game is being played in real life, the characters of the game interact within their own reality.

Millhauser also included an amazing description of the actual board.  Clearly, the game had been in the family for a long time and Millhauser painstakingly described for us every pencil mark, every tear, every faded color.  Also, he mentions how long ago the piece for Professor Plum was lost and had been replaced by a chess piece, I think.  In the game's universe, the character of Professor Plum is finding endless secret passages.  As the game goes on, he just gets lost deep inside the labyrinth of this secret universe within a universe.  He keeps telling himself that he should turn around but his obsession will not allow him to do so.  As if he has no choice but to do this because his game piece is missing.  Loved it.

Dance Dance Dance had some similar themes and devices.  Obsession, metaphysics, coexisting universes, alienation.  So that's how Millhauser prepped me for Murakami.

Normally, immediately after finishing a book I just pick up the next one I have planned.  Not tonight.  I don't want anything to affect this feeling I have.  After I finished it on the bus, I still had quite a bit of my trip left.  I had another book on me, but instead I just held Dance Dance Dance to my chest like it was my lover.  All books should feel like lovers in some way.  Some are bad, some are good, some are great.  Some are so amazing that you never want to stray from it.  I want to hold onto that feeling for at least tonight.  So I'm not reading anything else tonight.  But tomorrow is a whole other story.  I'm thinking Drown by Junot Diaz, which I  mentioned earlier.  It's not very long so it shouldn't take long.  February is usually a bad reading month for me because it's so short.  But I'm going to aim for 5 books.  I'm not going to be a nazi about it, though.  If I don't read that much, then ok.  Either way, 2009 is shaping up to be a pretty excellent reading year.

Also, I've been watching Dinosaurs a lot lately.  I purchased the entire series online.  That show is amazing.  It all flew way over my head when I was a kid, I think; although, I remember some things.

These last 3 days have been some of the most amazing days of my life, I think.  Nothing big, just simple pleasures.  And Dance Dance Dance is so much apart of that.  Last night, I soaked in the tub with some bath salts and read by candlelight while drinking green tea with honey.  It was such an amazingly relaxing experience.  I felt so at peace (aside from my brain-gears grinding like crazy).  Then today, the weather was just so beautiful, I actually walked to work from Port Authority (it's not a very long walk - a little over a mile, but I usually take the subway out of convenience).  I had iced coffee for the first time since it got really cold.  At lunch, I went out without a jacket and went to Toasties.  They had their front windows/doors completely open so everything was exposed to the lovely outside weather.  I sat at the table closest to the window/door so it was like I was eating outside.  I can't think of a better way to spend an afternoon.  The breeze, the book, the sunshine, iced coffee.  Yes, these past 3 days have been amazing in their own simple ways.  It's amazing what a great book can do for you.  Well, it's more than that I guess.  Everything just came together.  I better get ready for rough times ahead - haha.

I don't really know how to end this entry.  Apologies for it's length.  X-posted to robotswilleatus.  Sorry, Regina.

Take care.  And godspeed, you weary hobo.

Current mood: In Love

Current music: The Land Between Solar Systems - Mum

(3 | In a perfect world...)

2:12PM - Oh it's been a while.

It's been a long time since I've updated.  The occassion is this: Someone (I'm pretty sure it was Ziggy) once asked me who would I most want to hang out with in the afterlife.  My answer had been Kurt Vonnegut, Andy Warhol, and Jesus.  I'd like to add Jim Henson to that list too.  I'd like to have a nice odd number but I can't think of a 5th person.  Oh well.

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well.  I have a new livejournal name called robotswilleatus .  I've been lazy with that one too.  I had started using it as a political blog but now it's sort of digressed into a pile of randomness.

Lately things have been pretty quiet on the X-Files board so I've decided to branch out into other things to obsess over.  I just ordered that show "Dinosaurs" off Amazon and I just finished reading Watchmen.  It was really good.  I would suggest it to all.  Hm, what else?  I guess there isn't really anything of interest going on in my life.  I wake up, go to work, come home, do whatever, go to bed.  Wash.  Rinse.  Repeat.

Can't complain too much.  At least I'm employed!

Current mood: sick

(5 | In a perfect world...)

1:08PM - Do you trust this man?

I was sitting on the subway and I saw an advertisement for a book entitled 8 STEPS TO CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT.  I have always been skeptical of self-help books but this one took the cake:

His name says it all!  He wants your fucking money and nothing else!  He's leaning back like a sleezy used car salesman about to close a deal selling a beat up Pinto that never starts, has bad breaks and is missing 4 or 5 important gears to a less-than-knowledgable young girl who just got her license.  And how can you trust someone who presses his fingers together the way Mr. Burns does!  And his smile!  It's like through clenched teeth, he's saying, "I'm going to laugh at you all the way to the bank!"

But, to come back full circle, his name!  It's the best.  Dr. Dollar!  Hahahaha.

Current mood: amused

(In a perfect world...)

12:14AM - Wall E

This movie was great!  I loved it!  It was cute and it made me teary eyed and there is just nothing sweeter and more timeless than the love between two robots.

There were also a lot of overt nods to Space Odyssey 2001 (or is it the other way around?) such as a character modeled after HAL, lots of the soundtrack and tons of silence.

Why this movie works for kids: it portrays real concerns about the distant future in a scary enough light to be a warning but not so scary that a child might not like it.  It also uses things that are a reality to us in the modern age (ie robots) to tell a great story of hope and humanity.

Why this movie works for adults: it's fucking awesome.  This a great science fiction tale that seriously touches the center of the human experience.  I'm going to be thinking about this movie all night.  So effing cute.

I also love how a computer program is billed as one of the actors: MacIntalk is a text to voice program that sounds an awful lot like HAL from 2001 (which isn't so surprising since the program was inspired by it).  Very neato.

Take care and god speed you weary hobo.

Current mood: chipper

Current music: Mouth - Bush

(1 | In a perfect world...)

11:29AM - :-/

I'm confused...  Is there a reason why a rumored affair between Madonna and Alex Rodriguez made the front cover of several "newspapers?"  I could understand maybe if news was slow lately but, uh, it's not.

It's double stupid because it's not like they were caught naked in the back of hummer with 3 chicks and a donkey.  They went are having marital problems, went to the gym together, share the same manager, and hang out...  And this adds up  to DEFINITELY AN AFFAIR how?  I don't really care anyway if they are or if they're not.  Which only furthers my confusion as to why this story was on the front cover of any news paper.  How is this news?

Then again, this was on the cover of the New York Post and the Daily News.  So, not so surprising given their penchants for lack-lustre stories in place of actual important news.

Susan Jacoby bemoaned the state of American intelligence and reason (or lack of) in her book The Age of American Unreason (an irritating, painfully boring pile of stinky steamy academic pretension).  One of the points she made as proof that Americans were borderline mentally disabled as that nobody reads the newspaper anymore...

Ms. Jacoby, if newspapers weren't becomming mirrors of tabloids, maybe they'd be worth reading again.

Current mood: tired

(1 | In a perfect world...)